Weathered Pines

Snow on trees is one of the most beautiful sights one can behold. And yet, I am not a fan at all of winter. In fact, I am sitting here in a sweatshirt and also have my bathrobe wrapped around me to stay warm. I am ready for the weather I experienced last week in Florida. I was wearing short sleeves ... and rocking on the porch at Cracker Barrel at River City Marketplace in Jacksonville soaking in the rays of the sun. I am grateful for the reprieve.

It was pretty cold in N. Topsail Beach/Surf City, NC too. Brrrrr. It even snowed. That was a sight to see. On the day that I left, it was nice out and bright and beautiful. The sea when the sun shone upon it was the color of mint green and the day before there were many dolphins swimming in the waves, some even caught a wave or two. It did my heart good. I have to go back to that place in my heart and drink it in because right now I feel like crying. Not that crying will solve that which is causing the pain. It won't. But sometimes it relieves the pressure.

Many years ago, I was given a book "Falling Apart is Falling Together" was the theme of it. I am looking forward to being back together because the falling apart of my life has been going on for a number of years now. I don't mean that to sound like it's been all bad. But everytime I get a few steps forward, I get knocked a few more back. I know how this snowball effect got started but so many others weren't affected at all or it was like a slight blip in the road. I don't mean to whine, but sometimes I find just writing about it helps to ease the burden.

So, I was thinking about summer mornings in Angola before I started to type. That's why this is titled Weathered Pines. I remember the songs of the bobwhites, woodpeckers, and quiet. Glorious quiet so loud you could breathe it in. My grandparents had a lot with an old travel trailer parked on it, there was an old barrel cut in half out on the back portion of the lot that was used for camp fires and marshmallow roasting.

I can go inside my memory bank and hear the sound of pine needles crunching underfoot and the sound of voices far off in the distance. The popping of the flames and shifting of the wood in the fire. I can smell the air and it feels like the most sacred place on earth.

Father, let this heal the ache inside of me and give me strength and courage to continue to fight the good fight. To leave the results in your hands, but to go forward with the footwork and trust in miracles that come to those of us who wait on you. Amen.